I was going through some of the artwork and such that friends have given me to try and make the walls in our house seem less nekkid. In so doing, I had to sift through a lot of my stuff. Artwork, poems, short stories, photographs. How so much of my life can fit on a bookshelf, I have no clue. All I know is that the feelings they bring back are incredible. It’s so good to have things that can evoke feelings I’ve almost forgotten, or that can make me laugh and wonder why I did half the things I did or allowed other things to happen. Reading bits of stories or poems, I wonder what I was searching for and did I ever find it?

So it seems my stomach problems are due to gall stones. My doc said they were too big to try and dissolve and recommends having my gall bladder removed. Obviously I wasn’t too thrilled at the news so she gave me the number of a specialist to see if I may have other options. Having never as so much broken a bone before, I’m really disturbed at the idea of surgery. Hopefully there will be other options.

So my niece’s latest career goal is to become a graphic designer. Not, mind you, because of me or my influence. She really enjoyed her yearbook layout class and has decided that magazine layout is where she wants to head. After telling me this, I said, “you know that’s what I do, right?” Since then, I’m back on her cool list. I tend to fall in and out of that as she gets older. I am excited to see some of the stuff she starts playing around with. I’ve never known her to be particularly interested in the arts in any form at all, so I’d like to see what comes out of her.

Maybe the next time I see her, she’ll be in the angst-ridden, “artsy” stages of her teen life and I will get to sit back and enjoy the torture it puts my sister through. My sister and I went through very different stlyes of this phase. My sister was already out of the house when I went through mine so I don’t think she’ll know what to expect. Also, I am assuming my niece will more likely go through a similar phase as me since she takes after me in so many ways (mentally and physically) that when my sister yells at her for something, she usually yells out my name.

Tomorrow is the ultra-sound. I can’t have anything to eat or drink (other than water) from midnight tonight until after the exam tomorrow. So I’m thinking ice cream for dinner. :D

So I have a doctor’s appointment today to start the tests on my possible hiatal hernia. The doc at the Urgent Care thinks I have one, so I’ll probably have to drink the yummy barium milkshake and get x-rayed. Another reason why working for yourself is a big stress. When you’re out of commission, the whole business is out of commission, which just leads to more stress. So I’m scheduling client meetings before the doctor’s appointment to help ease the stress. Lovely.

I’m so lucky to have amazing people in my life. The type of amazing where, when you’re done hanging out with these people, you can’t get over how incredible they are. Good for the soul people. Had lunch with Cody today and ice cream with Jerri Ann just a few hours ago. I’m humbled to have them in my life.

I’ve been meaning to write about the whole Evil Brad experience at some point in my life. I’ve started numerous times and actually have a pretty decent start. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m writing a blurb here except for it’s been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe subconsciously I think I can let go of whatever it is holding me back from certain things I love doing.

Evil Brad, my mother. Two of the most destructive factors in my life. I know why I still hold on to the pain my mother caused me, but Evil Brad, a pathetic being of insecurity? Maybe it’s because I see where we are so similar, maybe because of how he made me feel sometimes. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I should thank him, for what he taught me of me. No real mentorish lessons, but things I’ve discovered about myself in the process. Where would I be if I hadn’t called that first time? How would my life be different?

He was a pivotal and integeral part of making me who I am, for better or for worse. Looking back, would I change anything? I don’t know. Probably not. I became much stronger because of it, but I can’t help thinking that I lost something, too. I can’t name what that might be, so maybe I’m just talking out of my ass. Romanticizing something that doesn’t call for romanticizing. Maybe I’m just wanting the melodrama that this causes me this very second.

I think I do need to write out that story.

The last few months have been a bit crazy. I’m still keeping busy with work and my boss at my old job passed away about a week before my birthday. He was truly like family to me (even made a surpirse speech at my wedding) and his obituary came out on my birthday. Needless to say that put a damper on thijngs.

Talked with Cody about how 2007 feels like it will be a creative renaissance for both of us. I hope so. We’re both making changes to allow for it.

Talked with kingjulien about another project and had a friend tell me that his best friend (who owns a teahouse/cocktail bar) would display my artwork there when I want. Don’t think I have enough stuff for something like that at the moment but if this whole creative renaissance thing happens, maybe I will.

So Ralph and I are in food coma. Dinner was quite satisfying. I dare say I might have eaten too much, but it’s hard to tell when portions are served in courses. But after we left Sezmu (which i keep typing as Sexmu), Ralph, Cody and I returned home to play a little bit of Guitar Hero II…the game I bought as a Christmas present for Ralph but had to give to him early because he was like a little kid, begging to be able to play with it “now.” I lasted 2 whole days of listening to him hint and cajole before I gave in. Eh, just means I only need to wrap coal for him and I’m done.

Okay so we had dinner at Sezmu tonight with Cody. I called it the company Christmas party since Cody is one of the people I’ve farmed out work to (he’s the only local one). So it was kind of a decadent dinner. Fortunately since we had to wait for our table for a little bit (honestly, it didn’t feel that long because we ordered our drinks and were talking), we got two of the snacky foods for free (the house-marinated olives, of which there were at least 4 varieties of olives and the sweet potato chips with a chipotle seasoning). For drinks, Cody started off with a Mandarin Cranberry, I drank Passionnés and water all night and Ralph had Pom Collins all night. By the end of the evening Cody was having a Pom Collins as well.

For appetizers, Cody and I both got butternut squash soup with cocoa mascarpone and carmelized onions. Ralph got the fried calamari with pickled vegetables and thai basil sauce. All were excellent. The thai basil sauce was better than the typical marinara/cocktail sauce you normally get with fried calamari.

For secondi’s, Cody and I got the seared scallops with some kind of puree and grilled king mushroom. Absolutely excellent and I don’t even care much for cooked scallops. i prefer my scallops raw, spicy and in a maki handroll. Ralph got porkbelly and lentil soup which was just as excellent. I bet if they didn’t call it pork belly, it would just appear as a nice fanned cut of pork.

For our main dishes, Cody and I got hapu-upu-u (or something like that. a hawaiian sea bass) with sweet potato gnocci, green beans and a few swishes of a green sauce (that looked like the thai basil sauce, but didn’t have as much flavor). It was tasty, though cody and I would have preferred more of the sweet potato gnocci and Ralph’s made tastier chilean sea bass at home. However this was still very good. Ralph got the veal osso bucco with chestnut spaetzle and some kind of greens.

Dessert. YUMMM! Cody got quadruple chocolate cake which was REALLY GOOD, and came with two mini scoops of two types of chocolate ice cream and a chocolate malt. The malt was tiny, but it was nice to have a dessert with three separate items. I got the burnt caramel pots de creme garnished with these crispy melted sugar tubes that also came with chocolate chai with homemade vanilla bean marshmallows, also very tiny. I know, i know, why didn’t i get the chocolate? because Ralph’s favorite dessert that I make is also caramel pots de creme and I wanted to see how different theirs were than mine. Flavor-wise, not different at all. Texture-wise, there’s was a little firmer. Kind of like mine if mine ever have the chance to sit over night and firm up, which they never do. They’re usually eaten that same night or even right after the 2 hour chilling minimum. Ralph got the cheese platter and a glass of tawny port. He was in absolute heaven with the blue cheese. it was very nice. I didn’t find it over-powering at all. The cheese plate came with two other cheeses, lavosh and a tiny bit of what they called “honeycomb” but it was really honey from comb (thicker than store-bought honey, but no wax honeycomb, which ralph and cody were both looking forward to).

It wasn’t a cheap meal by any means. Not something you’d go to fairly often, which is a shame since it’s within walking distance of the house, but they were fairly packed for a saturday night. Service was excellent and almost worthy of a fine dining restaurant. The only things that prevent it from being so was the waiter faltered a bit when reciting the 4-course chef’s choice special and, now this is being even pickier and really inconsequential but it usually makes me so happy when the servers at 4th St. Bistro use them, they didn’t have crumb sweepers. No bread was offered anyway. Oh yeah, and one of the orders of drinks for ralph and cody took a bit long. But one of the waitresses offered to take our photo when she saw me taking pictures of cody and ralph, which I find to be rare.

The menu supposedly changes weekly, but don’t rely on the web site as the menu on there is totally different than what we saw tonight. The food is considered “New American.” Ralph and I thought the wine was way too pricey, so we didn’t get any. All in all, we were all very happy with the experience, but it’s not something that can be indulged in often. It is wonderful, however, to see a hip, tiny restaurant, worthy of S.F. in our neighborhood. It’s even better when that restaurant obviously has a slight leaning toward seafood. Without taking price into consideration, I’d give it a 4.5 out of 5 stars.

I just got into it with a client. An egotistical, over-bearing jackhole whose account I am more than happy to say “buh-bye” to. No longer will I have to listen to him talk about how wonderful he is or talk over me (because, you know, anything I have to say is not important, even when it’s answering his question). No one is blaming me. They say I’m better off without the self-centered prick who has his head so far up his ass he can’t access his free Yahoo email account. His crappy posters can’t burn to dvd fast enough.