So it seems my stomach problems are due to gall stones. My doc said they were too big to try and dissolve and recommends having my gall bladder removed. Obviously I wasn’t too thrilled at the news so she gave me the number of a specialist to see if I may have other options. Having never as so much broken a bone before, I’m really disturbed at the idea of surgery. Hopefully there will be other options.

So my niece’s latest career goal is to become a graphic designer. Not, mind you, because of me or my influence. She really enjoyed her yearbook layout class and has decided that magazine layout is where she wants to head. After telling me this, I said, “you know that’s what I do, right?” Since then, I’m back on her cool list. I tend to fall in and out of that as she gets older. I am excited to see some of the stuff she starts playing around with. I’ve never known her to be particularly interested in the arts in any form at all, so I’d like to see what comes out of her.

Maybe the next time I see her, she’ll be in the angst-ridden, “artsy” stages of her teen life and I will get to sit back and enjoy the torture it puts my sister through. My sister and I went through very different stlyes of this phase. My sister was already out of the house when I went through mine so I don’t think she’ll know what to expect. Also, I am assuming my niece will more likely go through a similar phase as me since she takes after me in so many ways (mentally and physically) that when my sister yells at her for something, she usually yells out my name.

Tomorrow is the ultra-sound. I can’t have anything to eat or drink (other than water) from midnight tonight until after the exam tomorrow. So I’m thinking ice cream for dinner. :D

So I have a doctor’s appointment today to start the tests on my possible hiatal hernia. The doc at the Urgent Care thinks I have one, so I’ll probably have to drink the yummy barium milkshake and get x-rayed. Another reason why working for yourself is a big stress. When you’re out of commission, the whole business is out of commission, which just leads to more stress. So I’m scheduling client meetings before the doctor’s appointment to help ease the stress. Lovely.

I’m so lucky to have amazing people in my life. The type of amazing where, when you’re done hanging out with these people, you can’t get over how incredible they are. Good for the soul people. Had lunch with Cody today and ice cream with Jerri Ann just a few hours ago. I’m humbled to have them in my life.

I’ve been meaning to write about the whole Evil Brad experience at some point in my life. I’ve started numerous times and actually have a pretty decent start. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m writing a blurb here except for it’s been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe subconsciously I think I can let go of whatever it is holding me back from certain things I love doing.

Evil Brad, my mother. Two of the most destructive factors in my life. I know why I still hold on to the pain my mother caused me, but Evil Brad, a pathetic being of insecurity? Maybe it’s because I see where we are so similar, maybe because of how he made me feel sometimes. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I should thank him, for what he taught me of me. No real mentorish lessons, but things I’ve discovered about myself in the process. Where would I be if I hadn’t called that first time? How would my life be different?

He was a pivotal and integeral part of making me who I am, for better or for worse. Looking back, would I change anything? I don’t know. Probably not. I became much stronger because of it, but I can’t help thinking that I lost something, too. I can’t name what that might be, so maybe I’m just talking out of my ass. Romanticizing something that doesn’t call for romanticizing. Maybe I’m just wanting the melodrama that this causes me this very second.

I think I do need to write out that story.

The last few months have been a bit crazy. I’m still keeping busy with work and my boss at my old job passed away about a week before my birthday. He was truly like family to me (even made a surpirse speech at my wedding) and his obituary came out on my birthday. Needless to say that put a damper on thijngs.

Talked with Cody about how 2007 feels like it will be a creative renaissance for both of us. I hope so. We’re both making changes to allow for it.

Talked with kingjulien about another project and had a friend tell me that his best friend (who owns a teahouse/cocktail bar) would display my artwork there when I want. Don’t think I have enough stuff for something like that at the moment but if this whole creative renaissance thing happens, maybe I will.